What I learned delivering our second son

Our new baby is two weeks old as of yesterday. Here are the things I forgot or relearned the second time around. I hope these notes help someone else headed into delivery.

Labor & delivery isn't the same the second time around: 
- I was induced with our first son and only had pitocin-induced contractions. It REALLY is true that in 'natural' labor, you do get a pain-free break in-between contractions. I didn't believe the women who told me this. Happy to say they were right, I was wrong.
-I actually had a harder delivery with this baby. We were both fine, and I'm recovering, but I went in with the expectation that it would be easier than delivering my first. It's good to go in with an open mind.

Things I wish I had brought with me to the hospital: 
-one of those eye masks airlines give you; might make it a little easier to sleep. Hospital rooms are bright during the day AND night
-nasal spray to help reduce dry nose from the air in those rooms (I was able to get some from the hospital pharmacy)
-pillow for my husband--they didn't provide him one.
-T-shirt to wear over my nursing tank (so all the photos wouldn't be quite so busty)

Things I was really happy to have in the hospital: 
-My husband. This sounds obvious, but the only thing I really needed was him. Everything else was just nice to have.
- Granola bars for middle of the night; charger for phones; make-up (make the effort to put some on... the difference in the pictures is remarkable)
-Nursing tank and maternity (or just loose) PJ bottoms--I got out of the hospital gown the morning after our baby was born and I felt so much more human!; my own clothes for the baby--he was 9 pounds 11 oz and too big for the infant shirts they provide at the hospital. The ones I brought were bigger and more comfy for him.
-A nite nurse who persuaded me to put the baby in the nursery so I could sleep a little on that second night. I hadn't sleep the first night when he was born, and she knew what I was headed for (see below about first night at home). If I could do it again, I would have sent the baby to the nursery the first night so I might have slept a little then. But who knows if that would have made a difference. There's such an adrenaline high after you deliver, it's hard to relax and go to sleep. I'm not sure there's a way to make the first few days of new, or re-newed, motherhood easier. Make sure your husband knows what's coming so he can support you.
-ice packs: USE THEM. And change them out more often than you go to the bathroom. You need that cold compress on your bottom to help with the swelling/healing. I didn't use the ice packs as much as I could have/should have.
-birth ball to sit on/lay over in labor
-my own pillow
-Gatorade (nice break from water)
-Chapstick (it's really dry in the hospital)

Things I brought but didn't need:
-slippers (I just wore the sock-slippers provided by the hospital)
-'fancy' going home outfit for me.
-my own underwear (I just wore the hospital-provided ones)
-ipod; I didn't end up listening to it.

Once we got home:

- The first night with the newborn at home is awful. He nursed ALL NIGHT. I almost lost my mind. But, by the next my milk came in, the baby was sated, and we got a little sleep. The all-night nursing is what brings in the milk... so it's important. But, if I could do it again, I might give a 2-oz bottle of formula to give me a little sleep.
-If you had a vaginal delivery, use the sits bath. It really helps with healing. Also, make sure you have extra maxi-pads at home, extra tucks pads, and cortisone cream. Set up a little station for yourself on each level of the house so you don't have to go upstairs to have all your stuff together.
-Set up changing stations for the baby on each floor of the house; stairs are not your friend in the first weeks after delivery, regardless of how the baby comes out.
-Get help in the house. I didn't expect we would need it. My husband was home for 2 weeks. We were so wrong. With a four-year-old to care for as well, we are absolutely knocked over with the burden of both new baby and big baby. We had another adult (aunt, friend, babysitter) with us for every night, and sometimes most of the day, for the first 10 or 12 days.
-Don't expect you'll be ready for visitors: we weren't until well into week two.

For the expectant parent

Some very helpful tips on photographing your new baby in the hospital. Not rocket science. But those of you who are pregnant, or pregnant by proxy (husbands) can likely relate to the periodic moments of panic: "will I look horrible in those hospital pictures". My take-home message from this article? Black-and-white pictures are the best-friend of blotchy-faced newly delivered mom/baby.

Would you ever rent maternity clothes?

Would you ever considering renting a maternity wardrobe? Or maybe just one fancy dress for some major event? It's not a bad idea, right? We use them for such a short period of time. And the financial commitment for the higher-end designers is considerable. Today I saw that you can rent maternity clothes! I'm not sure I would actually do it... with 11 weeks left (so tempting to say 'only' 11 weeks, as if it's nothing), it doesn't seem fully worth it. Though maybe it's just what I need to snap me out of my wardrobe funk.

Pregnant Readers: there's a new designer on the web!

Pregnant Fashionista wrote about this new maternity designer today. The idea is ingenious!! Pants that grow with you. Since I have (only) 12 weeks left in my pregnancy, I'm not about to buy $100 pants, but others might!

Check it out here: http://suitsyourbelly.com/. And, use the Pregnant Fashionista discount code

PF Readers Receive An Exclusive 30% Off With Promo Code *prgnsta 30*

 

Baby's cells remain part of mom...

My brother sent along this fascinating article about the cellular after life of pregnancy. Enjoy.

Do you know about PACE?

PACE stands for Parent and Community Education. It's a new moms group that I participated in when Michael was born. Many of the women I met through my group I am still friends with today.

The organization pairs up 10 or 11 new moms (who all live in the same general area) with a trained facilitator for a 6 or 8 week discussion group.

You're supposed to sign up before the baby is born--so you can be assigned a group to begin 3 weeks post-partum. Contact information is on their site: http://www.pacemoms.org/.

It's about $250, but money WELL spent!

Maternity Consignment

Don't buy new! Check out these local consignment stores


Wiggle Room
4924 Del Ray Avenue, Bethesda, MD - (301) 656-5995

greenberries
8640 Guilford Road, Columbia, MD - (410) 290-6253

Emma's Closet

19707 Frederick Rd, Germantown, MD - (301) 916-2551

Country Britches
2500 Conowingo Road, Bel Air, MD - (410) 893-8552

Bows & Britches Consignment
140 N Bond St # B, Bel Air, MD (410) 838-6469

Sweet Peas Repeat
8220 Ritchie Hwy # 6, Pasadena, MD (410) 975-5267

Growing Years
10303 Kensington Parkway, Kensington, MD (301) 933-1152

Kensington Caboose
10508 Connecticut Avenue MD 20895 (301) 929-0178

Paddington Station  
448 Maple Avenue East, Vienna, VA (703) 938-0378

The Purple Goose  
2005 Mount Vernon Ave, Alexandria, VA  - (703) 683-2918

How to Dress While Pregnant (and other tidbits)

Another friend asked me to forward her this information today. The list was originally compiled by a friend of mine. I realized that this group may also be interested in the resources below:

Online Community/Listserv -- DC Urban Moms and Dads

This is invaluable for all things pregnancy and mommyhood. Get on the listserv and you can read other people's questions which i found educational (but sometimes annoying or off-topic) and the key is to be able to post your own questions. I found our pediatrician, info about travel with infant, found some items that people were selling (rocking chair for nursing, breastfeeding pillow, baby bjorn),etc.

Podcast for pregnancy

This is a GREAT podcast. You can either download from their website or itunes. I downloaded all the past ones and listened to them on my commute etc. Its better than reading the books in many cases.

Pregnancy Clothing
I am a huge proponent of the nice maternity clothes because it really makes a difference in how you feel and also how you look. Plus, my experienced friends told me that they didn't realize that they would not only be wearing this stuff during pregnancy but you end up wearing it for a bit after you have the baby because your body is not back to normal yet. However, let me say a few things about this:

Don't be a sucker for Pea in the Pod. Yes, they have cute stuff but everything is SUPER expensive and I found that you can often find the same stuff online for cheaper or discounted.

Some women really love something called The Bella Band which is like this tube top thing that goes around your belly and you can use it to wear your regular pants for a longer time (unbuttoned) and you can also use it with maternity pants when they still are a little big: http://www.bellaband.com/

I recommend Appleseed boutique in Old Town to go and try on some stuff to see what size you are and also what brands/styles you like and then what you can do (which is what I did) is search online for the brands and find them at lower prices. They have ALL the cool brands but they are full price - but rarely have sales. Get on their mailing list for coupons. However, I swear I found some of the very same stuff online for like 25% off! So in the dressing room I actually wrote down the names and style numbers for things I liked and then searched for them online. However, I did go back and buy a few things at these shops that I couldn't find online. FYI - they sell bella bands.

The best brands in my opinion are:
Japanese weekend - they have a website that has sale items quite often: www.japaneseweekend.com

Noppies - a UK brand that has awesome pants and jeans too. I have a pair of brown and black pants that I lived in and I wore them from the beginning and still fit in them at the end plus my jeans are from this brand and they were about $100 compared to some of the really trendy brands at pea in the pod for like 200+...

Olian - cute tops and dresses

Meet me in Miami

Chiarakruza - i love their pants - they are so stylish

Jeans -- Citizens of Humanity, Habitual, and Serfontaine are the top brands for maternity jeans with the celebrities. Here's my take on them. If you absolutely LOVE THEM on you and you think you will wear them for your entire pregnancy, see if you can find them online on sale but first try them on in the store so you can be sure of your size. I personally found that they didn't look as cute in person than they did in photos etc.

Online boutiques I love:
Tummy Style - www.tummstyle.com (my FAVE store online)

Belly Dance Maternity - Sale page http://www.bellydancematernity.com/sale-c-5.html

bellylicious maternity http://www.bellyliciousmaternity.com/belly/

Baby Style http://www.babystyle.com/content/maternity/main.asp

Also I found a few coupon codes that can be used at these stores:
babystyle.com
Description: $10 off every $30+ purchase
Code: BABYJEL
Expiration: unknown

Bellylicious Maternity
Description: 10% off on all non-sale merchandise
Code: DADDYDRAMA
Expiration: unknown

Are you subscribed to the NIH Parenting Listserve? What about DCUM?

There's a parenting listserve at NIH with posts about everything from nanny shares to free baby gear. Click here to subscribe...

Also, the DC Urban Moms and Dads Listserve and Forum are fantastic sources of information, stuff for sale, etc.

I bought a lot of maternity clothes off this list...

Prego-gear Swap?

Does anyone have a belly band in size small that they are willing to loan out? Let me know.

Prenatal Yoga

For the pregos...

I took prenatal classes all through my pregnancy at the Dupont location of Tranquil Space. Anna (pronounced Anne) who teaches the class was a midwife turned yoga-instructor/massage therapist. She is WONDERFUL.

http://www.tranquilspace.com/preandpostnatal.html

It's worth the schlep downtown for those of you who live further out.

Pregtastic, the pregnancy podcast

I loved listening to these podcasts in 2006 (before I was pregnant!!!) and 2007.

http://www.pregtastic.com/

Enjoy!

Coping with Pregnancy Edema

This question came up today... here are my thoughts. Does anyone have other suggestions on how to address this common pregnancy woe?

Avoid all salty foods
Drink a LOT of water
Sleep with a pillow under your feet (even while on your side)
Soak in a bath with Epsom salts
Whenever possible lay down with your feet higher than your head

I’ve heard that the compression hose is better than the socks. I never got around to buying them. THEY ARE EXPENSIVE!!